Neil Hilborn - “Liminality”
"Heaven is an exhausted horse laying down to die."
Performing at the Soap Boxing Poetry Slam.
I wrote the first draft of this poem five years ago, and I still love performing it today. Check it out. I’ll say pretty stuff in your ear.
Neil Hilborn - “Static Electricity”
"Kissing you is like a bundle of kittens colliding with my face at 0.5 miles per hour."
Performing at the Saint Paul Poetry Slam.
the switch from ‘a girl worth fighting for’ to coming upon the decimated village in mulan is THE MOST kick-in-the-teeth mood change IN ALL OF CINEMA
nothing is impossible when the pirates of the caribbean theme plays in the background
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
I just.. THIS SENTENCE WILL IGNITE AND FUEL MANY DREAMS
I have scrolled down this about 5 times and it has almost made me cry every time omg
When they panned to Benedict crying, my heart cried
Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair
SHUT THE HELL U P
this man has gone too far
Where does Marvel FIND these people?
Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”
surprisingly well done
One day, that toddler will be telling everyone about the time she went one on one with the great one, pattycaking his candy ass.
the rock is a gift
imagine if people screamed instead of snored
Priestly shirts that were in the script, but didn’t make it into the final cut: “They don’t pay me enough to be nice to you.” and "Don’t annoy the crazy person."
"your wings are too big"
Chris Pratt interrupts the interview to french braid intern’s hair x
Chris Hardwick talks about censorship of women’s bodies and absolutely nails it.
The bleeping. The bleeping. I just. THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME WORDS.
I love that he knows only one got bleeped.
All these “cuddle and play video games” date ideas are weak. We’re playing mario kart double dash, cuddling is a distraction. Im here to win